He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
