Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
