you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
