Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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