I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Everything about him screamed your future.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
