i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
