I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I party with great urgency now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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