Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
