it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
