Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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