well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
