Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my shit smells like andre
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
