you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
