It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
