It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
They are going to name an STD after you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
