A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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