There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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