You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
