It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
A+ Viking dick
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
