Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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