Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
