I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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