she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
