I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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