Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
