so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
