Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
it's like heaven, but drunker
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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