I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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