Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
