my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
