We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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