this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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