What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
