he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
