Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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