Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
