um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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