I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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