But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
