i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How naked do you want me to be?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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