My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just found puke in my bra..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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