We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
