I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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