Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
