Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
