WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and she was petting her beer can
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
