Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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