i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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