I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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