you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
