we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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