I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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